When you think about love and family what pops into your head? Your first thought was probably your kids. No matter how your family was formed you have unconditional love for your children and that is what is so incredible to me.
When you enter parenthood you often have a story to tell about how you became a mom or dad. As a mother, I have experienced bringing a child into the world through adoption and I’ve also given birth and each of my kids has a different arrival story. For me, the love was immediate. It bursted from me like nothing I have ever experienced. In that instant I knew that this love I felt could never be taken away and could never be changed. With each child my heart grew to allow for each of them to take up equal space.
Having read adoption books, pregnancy books and a bunch of online articles about adoption and biological births I found that not every mother experiences the same timeline for love. There are so many circumstances that slow down the love process. Now, I’m not saying love isn’t there. What I am saying is that it isn’t as instant.
In adoption there are a lot of moving parts so sometimes love isn’t instant, love must grow. First, a bond must be created and then the love follows. The age of the child and whether or not the adoptive parents have experienced loss can be a factor. They simply want to protect their hearts and love is something that grows over time.
In biological births it is not uncommon for women to experience prepartum and postpartum depression. Depression shows up uninvited and can rob a woman from enjoying her pregnancy and her baby once she delivers. For many women experiencing depression, the love doesn’t just snap into place. It may take time.
There is a quote I found back when we were going through our adoption process that has always stuck with me. I don’t know who wrote it but it was so fitting at the time and still is to this day.
“This is the start of a sweet little story, the part where your page meets ours. No matter where your tale takes you tomorrow, our story will always read, love.”
Give love, grow love, be love.