I’m just going to say it so it’s out there. We don’t do Elf on the Shelf. I have no ill will for those who do it because I do think the idea behind it is super cute. It was just too much for me to commit to.
I’m one of those people that don’t have a favorite color, don’t have a favorite show; I don’t have a favorite band. Simply put I just can’t commit to a frivolous thing for an extended period of time. I might start out strong but I’m just one of those sparkle and fade people. Not proud of it but that’s just who I am.
I knew that I would start out super ambitious with the Elf-thing and then right as the kids were getting really into it I’d end up making up some stupid story about how Santa was short staffed in his workshop and needed all the elves back to make toys. That’d be my way out of having to move the dang thing each night. It all played out in my head before I could even get the Elf box in my cart, so I passed.
Now that the boys are old enough I find myself wanting to have something to lean on when all their crazy comes out. I can’t say Elfy is watching when we don’t even have an elf. It's much easier to convince them that they're being watched when something is physically in the house to do it. So, I see the benefits of having a tiny man hanging around keeping an eye on your kids. Lord knows that this life sized mom can’t always rally the troops when needed.
The other day they both started to circle the drain and I wanted to let them know that presents were not a guarantee and that there really is a naughty and nice list. I needed a partner and since my husband wasn’t home to tap me out of the wrestling ring I needed the big man in red. I shouted, “That’s it! I’m calling Santa.”
The look on their faces was a cross between someone who just saw a ghost and someone who is trying to hold in a fart. They didn’t know what to do but they definitely knew that I wasn’t messing around. Get it together kids; mommy has Santa on speed dial.
Once I had their attention I laid down the law. If they couldn’t listen, couldn’t be kind and start respecting their toys then I’d call Santa and tell him all about their troubles. Santa is always watching but just in case he had to tend to a sick reindeer or one of his elves needed his help I had his number and could give him a call with a full update.
Not saying I’m particularly proud of what happened but sometimes as a parent you have to use what’s available to you in order to help get your kids back on track. Thanks to Christmas we get to use Santa and his elves.
Thanks Santa, I’ll leave out some extra cookies and spiked egg nog for you.