As adoptive parents, my husband and I are very open about our journey through adoption. We always want to be very transparent with our family and friends when it comes to our oldest son's adoption. The reason is because there are no secrets. The openness and honesty will continue with our son as he matures and has more questions about his story. We want to make sure that our family and friends are also able to navigate this journey with us as he grows.
We get a lot of questions about whether or not we have told our son if he is adopted. The answer is always, yes. We started the conversation before our son could even talk. We’d sit with him at night and tell him his story. His story is rightfully his and he should know it.
Every child has a birth story and every child has a natural curiosity about who they are and how they came to be. By starting our son’s story before he even knew he had one has allowed us to keep the conversation open and fluid. There is no big reveal, there is just his story told by his parents who love him more than life.
Right now all of our children just want to hear about how they came into the world. We have good stories for each of them.
Our oldest came out looking blue and I was the first one to hold him after his tummy mommy gave birth to him and the nurses made sure he was ok. He was blueish from being in the birth canal for so long. He gets a big kick out of the fact that he was blue.
Our middle came out after an unplanned C-section and he had swallowed his meconium. Obviously, as a three year old he thinks it is absolutely hilarious that he swallowed poop.
Our youngest was the doozy of the bunch. She was a planned C-section that went totally wrong and I ended up completely under with no memory of her birth. I came out loopy and her daddy was the first one to hold her.
Each of them have their own story and we plan to continue to tell them their stories and answer questions they may have about our family as they grow. We know that the questions from our oldest son will get harder. My hope is that we will be able to give him all the answers he is looking for. If we can’t, then we’ll find a way to get them.
Ours will be an evolving story that we will continue to speak about with openness and honesty for all who ask.
My hope is that you ask, because I truly believe that everyone benefits when they have information to understand.